{"id":55271,"date":"2025-12-11T09:02:25","date_gmt":"2025-12-11T16:02:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/?p=55271"},"modified":"2025-12-11T20:52:45","modified_gmt":"2025-12-12T03:52:45","slug":"the-final-lesson-of-peacemaking-ask-better-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/the-final-lesson-of-peacemaking-ask-better-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"The Final Lesson of Peacemaking: Ask Better Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/The-Final-Lesson-of-Peacemaking_-Ask-Better-Questions-Public-Square-Magazine.pdf\" download=\"\"><picture><source srcset=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/wp-content\/webp-express\/webp-images\/uploads\/2025\/03\/pdf-download-1.png.webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-right: 2px; padding-right: 0; float: left;\" src=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/pdf-download-1.png\" class=\"webpexpress-processed\"><\/picture> Download Print-Friendly Version<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This article marks the twelfth and final article in the <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Peacemaking Series<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. In 2023, the late Prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, issued the call, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2023\/04\/47nelson?lang=eng\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Peacemakers Needed<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/thefamilyproclamation.org\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">TheFamilyProclamation.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> answered this call by producing 12 playful, 1 to 2-minute videos teaching principles and tactics for <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Peacemaking<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. While secular in their content, each video was directly inspired by the principles taught in President Nelson\u2019s talk. When writing each script, the creators presented scholarly theories from the fields of psychology, philosophy, conflict resolution, and communication, which would help support an individual trying to integrate President Nelson\u2019s message into their personal and professional relationships. Public Square Magazine published this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/author\/skyline\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">12-part article series<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as an opportunity to exhibit the research that supported the content of each video. Each article acts as a companion piece for one video from the series.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Questions for Conflict<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The final video in the series presents a list of \u201c<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Qrq9v6sbe_8&amp;list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&amp;index=1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Questions for Conflict<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d Each question references principles taught in the previous videos. The intention is that an individual who has watched all the videos can quickly view this last video to help them remember what they have learned. The questions aren\u2019t a test; they help guide an individual\u2019s thinking as they consider the course of action they ought to take when trying to make a conflict more peaceful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 12: Questions for Conflict\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PQ2NnldJCAM?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In similar fashion, this companion article lists the link to each video in the series, the link to its companion article, the main ideas taught in that video and article, and then the action question from the resource video above. Our intention with this article\u2019s brevity and organization is that it may become a simple reference guide, something easily bookmarked for quick access, sharable with friends or family; an aid for creating more peace while navigating social conflicts in life, for inspiring \u201clove one toward another\u201d and to go \u201cabout doing good\u201d (<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/scriptures\/nt\/1-thes\/3?lang=eng&amp;id=p12#p12\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1 Thessalonians 3<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/scriptures\/nt\/acts\/10?lang=eng&amp;id=p38#p38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Acts 10<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">). God bless us all as we grow in our discipleship of \u201cThe Prince of Peace\u201d (<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/scriptures\/ot\/isa\/9?lang=eng&amp;id=p6#p6\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Isaiah 9<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Controlling Anger<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 2: Controlling Anger\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/KXPvdX-Wpkk?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/controlling-anger-simple-steps-peacemaking-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Art of Peacemaking: Controlling Anger by Bridging Logic and Emotion<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: When anger or other strong emotions surge, they can hijack our judgment, pushing us toward reactions that harm understanding and connection. By pausing to breathe deeply, we slow the body\u2019s adrenaline response, give our rational mind time to catch up, and create space to act with clarity, patience, and purpose instead of hostility.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: Should I take a few deep breaths?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Conflict Is Natural<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 3: Conflict Is Natural\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/X9o1y4yrAng?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/conflict-management-turning-disputes-growth\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Conflict is Natural: How We Mistake Discomfort for Destruction<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Conflict<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is when two or more opposing forces meet each other, and our personal associations with that word\u2014whether positive or negative\u2014reveal how we understand and respond to disagreement. By maturing those associations toward a \u201cconflict is natural\u201d perspective, we learn to see conflict not as something to fear or even like, but as an inevitable process toward discovering balance, harmony, and productive solutions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: What good can come from this conflict?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Semantic Ambiguity<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 11: Semantic Ambiguity ??\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/flxXDz9yPWs?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/how-semantic-ambiguity-undermines-peace\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From Babel to the UN: How Semantic Confusion Undermines Peace\u2014and the Radical Power of Clarity<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Many disagreements begin with semantic ambiguity\u2014the confusion that arises when a word carries multiple meanings and each person assumes their own definition is shared by everyone else. To resolve such confusion, take time to unpack the word by asking, \u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d This simple act builds the communication foundation for genuine peace through clarity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: Are any of the words we\u2019re using ambiguous?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Positive Gossip<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 9: Positive Gossip ?\ufe0f\u2615\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/W3Brzwj841o?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/what-is-gossip-faith-based-answers\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What If Gossip Isn\u2019t a Sin\u2014But a Skill in Peacemaking?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Gossip\u2013\u2013any conversation about someone who is not present\u2014is a pervasive part of human communication, and it can be either negative, focusing on the faults of others, which spreads harm, or positive, celebrating others\u2019 virtues and reinforcing unity. Intentionally pivoting from negative to positive gossip by asking questions that encourage empathy fosters compassion, strengthens relationships, and transforms ordinary conversation into a constructive force for understanding and social unity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: Have I acknowledged this person\u2019s strengths?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Bridges of Understanding<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 10: Bridges of Understanding ??\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Evfn_sxtbkk?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/conflict-resolution-skills-disciples\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Complex Art of Christian Kindness: Building Bridges<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Conflicts often arise not because people truly disagree, but because people misunderstand one another\u2019s perspectives. The solution is to ask sincere questions motivated by genuine curiosity and the desire for positive connection\u2014turning toward \u201cbids.\u201d This builds understanding, fosters goodwill, and allows people to navigate differing perspectives without compromising personal standards.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: Do I sincerely believe this person knows something I don\u2019t?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Disagreements Bring Balance<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 5: Disagreements Bring Balance ?\u2696\ufe0f\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/UwD8_7cHoy8?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/conflict-resolution-starts-with-speaking-up\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disagreements Bring Balance: When Silence Isn\u2019t Peace<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Many people avoid speaking up in disagreements out of fear of rocking the boat, being judged, or creating conflict, yet this silence often limits perspective, stifles collaboration, and diminishes relational authenticity. By embracing vocal disagreement through empathy, curiosity, and structured techniques\u2014such as using \u201cI statements,\u201d talking in parts, asking clarifying questions, and restating others\u2019 perspectives\u2014individuals can take responsibility for expressing their own views and create deeper connections.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: Have I expressed every part of myself honestly?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Forgiveness<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 7: Forgiveness ??\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lX5f3TeXh6A?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/why-forgiveness-important-for-healing\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You Don\u2019t Need to Feel Forgiving to Forgive<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: The experience of personal betrayal often leaves lasting pain, presenting a tension between holding onto anger or extending forgiveness, a choice that affects both the offender and the offended. Forgiveness is an active, deliberate process practiced through steps like naming the hurt, imagining dialogue with the offender, switching perspectives, and then choosing between anger and forgiveness. Even without trust, apology, or change from the other person, one can cultivate compassion, emotional healing, and freedom for oneself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Questions: Why am I hurting? Why might they be hurting? Am I choosing to give them anger or forgiveness?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Save the Relationship!<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 6: Save the Relationship! ??\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ByHFTV-qphM?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/conflict-resolution-strategies-save-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disagreement: Three Steps toward Relationship Conservation<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Even minor disagreements, if mishandled, can threaten the very heart of a relationship, causing lasting damage. By following the three-step approach\u2014first separating the conflict from the relationship, next resuscitating the bond with gratitude and repair attempts, and finally addressing the deeper needs behind the disagreement\u2014relationships can be preserved, strengthened, and transformed into opportunities for understanding and growth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Questions: Have I separated the relationship from the conflict? How can I \u201cresuscitate\u201d the relationship? How can I address their deeper needs?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Conflict Styles<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 4: Conflict Styles ?\u2696\ufe0f\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Gi9J02p0kmM?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/persuasion\/best-conflict-management-styles-peace\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Winning Doesn\u2019t Make You Right: Five Conflict Styles<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Disagreements are inevitable, and no single approach suffices for every conflict; understanding the five conflict management styles\u2014Oblige, Promote, Collaborate, Compromise, and Avoid\u2014helps prevent resentment. Discern the needs of yourself and others, then apply the appropriate style for the situation: you can oblige when the issue matters more to others, assertively promote when it matters more to you, collaborate for mutual solutions, compromise when time is limited, or even avoid the conflict altogether when it\u2019s just not that important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Questions: Who has the greater need here? Which conflict style would be wise for me to use?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>What is Power?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 8: What is Power? ??\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-bQJdTyXBx8?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/secret-of-power-and-meekness\/\">The Paradox of Power and the Secret Strength of Meekness<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Power, defined simply as \u201cthe ability to control a resource,\u201d emerges not from domination or coercion but from recognizing and effectively using resources (both internal and external). Sustainable and righteous power grows through self-mastery and compassionate influence, inviting others to engage willingly in play.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Questions: What resources are available to me? What should I <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">stop<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> participating in, and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">start<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> participating in?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Peacemaking<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Video 1: Peacemaking\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Qrq9v6sbe_8?list=PLzb39EjcScf0GPXG9FqNfGNW42c_ppNil&#038;rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/dialogue\/conflict-resolution-skills-everyday-challenges\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Peacemaking, Redefined: Why Civility Feels So Radical<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Main Idea: Rising social and interpersonal tensions make even minor disagreements feel threatening to relationships. The introductory video and article explain that the Peacemaking Series teaches that healthier connections can be cultivated by taking personal responsibility, approaching differences with empathy and respect, and modeling peacemaking one interaction at a time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Question: What can I do to be a peacemaker?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>About The Sykline Research Institute<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Skyline Research Institute hosts the website <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/thefamilyproclamation.org\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">TheFamilyProclamation.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. As a non-profit organization, they combine scripture, scholarship, and stories supporting the doctrine and teachings in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/scriptures\/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world\/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Family: A Proclamation to the World<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You can follow them for podcasts, original research, more video content, and even lesson plans for families and classrooms through their social media accounts or at their website, <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/thefamilyproclamation.org\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">TheFamilyProclamation.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What sustains peacemaking? Thoughtful questions grounded in empathy, clarity, and humility guide resolution.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":319,"featured_media":55272,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[472],"tags":[198,834,66,178,725,12,245,258,170,69,194,356,137,520,319],"coauthors":[1912],"class_list":["post-55271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dialogue","tag-agency","tag-christian","tag-civility","tag-compassion","tag-discipleship","tag-empathy","tag-forgiveness","tag-humility","tag-justice","tag-kindness","tag-peace","tag-persuasion","tag-philosophy","tag-relationships","tag-virtue"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Final Lesson of Peacemaking: Ask Better Questions - 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