{"id":44865,"date":"2025-05-19T06:21:36","date_gmt":"2025-05-19T12:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/?p=44865"},"modified":"2025-05-19T06:21:36","modified_gmt":"2025-05-19T12:21:36","slug":"why-niceness-vs-kindness-matters-disciplieship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/why-niceness-vs-kindness-matters-disciplieship\/","title":{"rendered":"An Inconvenient Truth and The Rise of Latter-day Niceness"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/picture> Download Print-Friendly Version<\/a><\/p>\n

In the early years of gospel formation, Latter-day Saint parents and Primary leaders tend not to talk about the Wrath of God and instead focus on the positive and loving attributes of Christ described in the New Testament.\u00a0 The ultimate goal is to become like Jesus. We often hear the phrase \u2018Be Christlike\u2019 and sing songs like \u201cI\u2019m trying to be like Jesus\u201d and \u201cI know Heavenly Father Loves Me.\u201d \u00a0 Children are taught to be kind, loving, gentle, meek, nice, charitable, and peacemakers. All of these attributes are essential, but incomplete.<\/span><\/p>\n

The God of the Old Testament <\/span>is<\/span><\/i> Jesus Christ. In those scriptures, we see a God who follows through on consequences and values justice: the flood destroyed many, Sodom and Gomorrah were demolished, and the Israelites took 40 years to reach the promised land. In each of these stories, the consequences were a direct result of sinful choices. The God of Abraham is a God of covenants, who required His children to keep His commandments. I have heard many people state that they don\u2019t like the God of the Old Testament because He seems too mean. It\u2019s ironic when He\u2019s described as not being \u201cChristlike.\u201d

K<\/span>indness is not the absence of conflict\u2014it is the presence of integrity.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><\/div><\/span>A deeper study of the New Testament highlights the importance of keeping commandments, but no one seems to quote those scriptures. I once saw a popular Latter-day Saint influencer send out a newsletter and declare that throughout her faith journey to learn about Christ, she would only read the four Gospels. Nothing before His birth, nothing after His death. Not even the Christ Paul testified of\u2014a Christ who delivers justice<\/a>; many don\u2019t like to see that part of our Savior. I could see her intent to stay close to Christ, but my heart ached for narrowing down the King of Kings to just a \u201cteddy bear Jesus\u201d like the kind described in Elder Holland\u2019s 2014 talk, \u201ccomfortable, smooth gods \u2026 who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds.”<\/p>\n

In contemporary culture\u2014and even within Latter-day Saint communities\u2014there is growing pressure to be “nice” at all costs.\u00a0 Unfortunately, this is happening in our wards too. I heard from one follower:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the trends I\u2019ve noticed is that our ward is increasingly becoming more divided due to new move-ins in the past couple of years who have brought an uneasy spirit into the ward. The underlying issue? No one wants to discuss hard topics for fear of possibly \u2018offending\u2019 others. Sigh. We are definitely living in the last days!<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Perhaps we avoid difficult conversations, downplay doctrine, and hesitate to stand for truth because it might create discomfort. But is that Christlike? Or have we confused true kindness with mere politeness?<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps we have also avoided teaching lessons about God’s justice: the moments when Christ rebuked hypocrisy or the times He boldly stood for truth despite opposition. While these stories might seem to contradict the loving Jesus we eagerly teach our children, could leaving them out unintentionally create an incomplete picture of discipleship\u2014one that equates being Christlike with never making anyone uncomfortable?<\/span><\/p>\n

Christ Was Kind, Not Merely Nice<\/b><\/h3>\n

If Jesus had only been \u201cnice,\u201d meaning primarily concerned about not causing discomfort to others, the Pharisees probably would have loved Him.\u00a0 Perhaps they would not have sought His crucifixion. But His kindness\u2014which calls people to repentance\u2014made people uncomfortable.\u00a0 Here are a few examples from Christ in the New Testament demonstrating this balance:<\/span><\/p>\n