{"id":1965,"date":"2020-02-21T10:03:57","date_gmt":"2020-02-21T17:03:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/?p=1965"},"modified":"2023-08-09T17:20:35","modified_gmt":"2023-08-09T23:20:35","slug":"youth-are-inundated-by-sexualized-talk-but-dont-ask-them-about-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/sexuality-family\/youth-are-inundated-by-sexualized-talk-but-dont-ask-them-about-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Youth Are Inundated by Sexualized Talk. But Don\u2019t Ask Them about It!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the defining characteristics of our troubled era is the degree to which we have subjected children and youth to a remarkable level of exposure to sexual everything-you-can imagine\u2014from leave-nothing-to-the-imagination depictions in pornographic videos to relentless teasers of the same in pop culture music, movies, and commentary.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So incessant has been this intense sexual immersion, that Americans have grown both accustomed to it\u2014and increasingly tolerant of it.\u00a0 Indeed, many now consider it crucial to ensure sex education instructors be allowed to provide explicit descriptions of sexual acts, feelings, and experiences to young people in school.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, it comes with some rich irony, surrounded by <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">intrusive culture, to have such an alarm raised about whether spiritual mentors such as Latter-day Saint bishops (among others) can or should be allowed to inquire into how well young people are navigating this same fraught environment.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, it\u2019s only understandable to have some level of concern amidst an unsettling time of seemingly unending, tragic revelations of the degree to which individuals in a position of trust (teachers, clergy, parents) have too often, to a heartbreaking degree, taken advantage of their own unique access to youth. Although it\u2019s hardly possible to do enough to prevent this from continuing to happen, it\u2019s certainly possible to overcorrect in a way that casts doubt on even reliable, helpful, crucial mentoring influences.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one is arguing that appropriate precautions not be taken. This is precisely why adjustments such as Latter-day Saint policies insisting on two adults in a youth class\u2014or allowing two adults in a youth interview\u2014are both welcomed and wise.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But to take it one (or five) steps further and insist on scrapping any such mentoring oversight or inquiry demonstrates a profound error of judgment. In the very moment when youth need as much guidance, support, and encouragement as they can possibly get\u2014especially in this area\u2014this would deny them a uniquely-inspired source of the same. This is particularly true for youth without reliable parents consistently watching out for their well-being.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not only would this greatly disadvantage many youth, but it would perpetuate a uniquely deformed image of spiritual mentors as being generally worthy of <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">distrust <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in these matters. Amidst a growing crisis of trust in institutions everywhere, we would argue that about the last thing we need culturally is another effort to actively corrode trust\u2014especially trust that has not yet been legitimately lost (and arguably deserves to be maintained).\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While our dear Catholic brothers and sisters are grappling with a uniquely painful reckoning, Latter-day Saint congregations have managed a remarkably high level of safety. While some critics of our own faith community are perhaps waiting (hoping?) for the same dam to one day burst in the Church of Jesus Christ, there is good reason to believe it never will. And as even a cursory review of sexual assault claims against Latter-day Saint leaders would reveal, the relative rarity of these allegations is both remarkable and hardly ever acknowledged in media reports generally.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why not? Perhaps because this rarity doesn\u2019t fit the suspicious narrative of authority\u2014especially religious authority\u2014in our day. And no doubt, a happy view of the degree to which inspired spiritual mentors change lives, shape hearts, build faith, and prevent risky decisions might be confusing to a general public that continues to sour on the value of religion generally.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what if all that benefit of inspired leadership is legitimate? That has not only been our experience\u2014it\u2019s been that of millions of Latter-day Saint youth over the years in relation to primary teachers, youth leaders, and priesthood leaders that individually invest many hundreds of volunteer hours.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Underscoring the valuable contribution of these spiritual mentoring leaders, to be clear, does not imply children and youth seeking support are greatly deficient or evil. It was the Book of Mormon that first forcefully clarified how wrong-headed it was to presume little children sin and have a need for repentance. However confused older youth might become, their beautiful innocence is not far behind them.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perhaps this is what prompted a woman to say <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/national\/religion\/mormon-leader-be-kind-to-lgbtq-but-dont-forget-gods-laws\/2019\/10\/05\/5411b620-e7e1-11e9-b0a6-3d03721b85ef_story.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in a recent national report<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on the most recent General Conference, \u201cIn my eyes, all children are worthy. There\u2019s no reason to interview them for their worthiness. In God\u2019s eyes, they\u2019re worthy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While Moroni would agree, \u201cYes, little children are worthy!\u201d he might remind this woman that those same precious children go on to grow up in a remarkably challenging world\u2014testing out their own agency and pressing forward in a world (or having the world pressed upon them) replete with intrusive sexual imagery.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Imagery that sometimes drags them in, and leaves them hurting, confused\u2014and looking for a fresh start.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it\u2019s precisely because of how precious these youth and their healthy, happy development is, that we need to ensure caring and trusted parents and leaders continue to have the support to keep asking questions in a safe, appropriate way. And not just about general things, but also about how that child is navigating a sexualized, darkening world.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a world where youth are increasingly inundated with sex, it&#8217;s not responsible, inspired leadership they need protection from.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":1641,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[481,469],"tags":[21,14,54,80,1238,84],"coauthors":[221],"class_list":["post-1965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-matters","category-sexuality-family","tag-children","tag-local-church-leaders","tag-secularization","tag-sex","tag-sexual-assault","tag-sexual-morality"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Youth Are Inundated by Sexualized Talk. 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