{"id":15462,"date":"2022-08-12T12:42:25","date_gmt":"2022-08-12T18:42:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/?p=15462"},"modified":"2023-08-09T17:19:09","modified_gmt":"2023-08-09T23:19:09","slug":"abuse-is-something-we-should-be-able-to-fight-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/sexuality-family\/sexual-abuse\/abuse-is-something-we-should-be-able-to-fight-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Abuse is Something We Should Be Able to Fight Together"},"content":{"rendered":"
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash<\/div>\n

Years ago, one of us participated in an effort to <\/span>study domestic violence coordinating councils<\/span><\/a> in one region of Illinois. At one formative meeting, a coalition of conservative and liberal organizations decided to stop working together on domestic violence because of sharp differences around abortion\u2014along with a perception among some on the political right that domestic violence had become more of a \u201cliberal issue.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In a world that struggles to find common ground about anything that matters, it\u2019s hard to imagine any issue that legitimately merits being called a\u00a0 universal common cause than the horror of family violence and child abuse. <\/span>More than perhaps anything else, this<\/span> is something that anyone with an intact conscience ought to be able to rally around in support of. Like many, we\u2019ve wept this last week to hear about what these girls endured. Yet even basic unity around something like this remains remarkably elusive in our country today.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On such an urgent and universally important issue, it\u2019s striking how much we struggle to extend the benefit of the doubt to others who say they care\u2014even though it\u2019s clear only monstrous souls could minimize the priority of abused children. That\u2019s precisely the insinuation and suspicion that hovers over our recent public conversations about the abuse story. <\/span>One new commentary<\/span><\/a> takes for granted that \u201cin some cases, the safety of \u2026 children might not be the church\u2019s top priority when it learns of child abuse.\u201d And in this week\u2019s Washington Post article on the Arizona abuse case, the sincerity of leaders in wanting to stop abuse is held skeptically throughout\u2014with readers invited to see the Church\u2019s efforts as primarily \u201cused to justify hushing up the young girl\u2019s rape.\u201d

In a world that struggles to find common ground about anything that matters, it\u2019s hard to imagine any issue that legitimately merits being called a\u00a0 universal common cause than the horror of family violence and child abuse.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/div><\/span>Right after hinting at the possibility of many more abuse cases being covered up, the editorial team went on to state<\/a>, \u201cIn its response, the church insisted it regards abuse as inexcusable \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Was that really ever in doubt? Of course, it was\u2014and is\u2014among the many who have seemed strangely eager to embrace the popular narrative of helpline workers and church leaders alike callously prioritizing institutional well-being above that of vulnerable children.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How, one might wonder, would it benefit the Church to cover up the rape of a child by a new convert? What exactly would the institutional advantage be to \u201cdivert abuse accusations away from\u201d police to lawyers, so they can \u201cbury the problem\u201d? But never mind this kind of nuance. For those who already see faith as intrinsically fraudulent, this is really too good of an accusation to fudge with all those questions. Let\u2019s just call anyone trying to think critically an \u201cabuse apologist\u201d and see if that quiets people down.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a result, child sexual abuse now takes its place on the long list of crucial, even life-and-death questions, about which we have proven our skill at turning into culture war weapons rather than precious common causes to rally around together.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Over the last week, rather than focusing on how to support the healing of the many who have tragically experienced such abuse (one in ten children<\/a> according to recent studies)\u2014or what explains the horrifying cruelty of some called to care for them in this world\u2014the public conversation has been almost single-mindedly focused on lawyers and a helpline.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There are obviously legitimate questions to ask, improvements to take seriously and failures to interrogate. But in our eagerness to explain and find blame in America, we have become remarkably quick to forget those most responsible for a tragedy. After a school shooting, we are again debating gun policy and first responder training. And after another revelation of horrifying abuse, we\u2019re now fixated on insinuations about \u201ccold-hearted\u201d policy and procedure.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We respect that some see this as precisely the right focus<\/span>\u2014<\/span>how else are we to achieve \u201csystematic change\u201d? What is missed in such an emphasis, however, are the individual moral agents at the heart of these tragedies<\/span>\u2014<\/span>the men (and sometimes women) whose own choices are most directly responsible for unleashing a tsunami of pain. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If we were to have that latter conversation, it would remind every one of us about the central, eternal importance of our own individual actions and, yes, the interdependence of us all. It would also bring to the foreground realities of moral law, truth, sin, obedience, sacrifice, repentance, and God. By comparison, our prevailing public conversation does none of this<\/span>\u2014<\/span>preoccupying us instead with not only procedural analysis but also with ruminations about possible misdeeds of anyone else surrounding the tragedy. In this way, the individual evil perpetrating the actual horror gets obscured as almost an afterthought.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, those raising piercing accusations of cover-up against institutions like the Church of Jesus Christ see themselves as defending children too. And sometimes they really are, as widespread sexual abuse scandals in other faiths have demonstrated. But in this case, where no evidence has emerged of any widespread scandal, far less thought has gone to possible disadvantages to victims and children from rushing to conclusions so quickly. If there\u2019s a more complicated story at play and we miss that, we might endanger more kids than we save.<\/span><\/p>\n

For instance, those weaving a damning story about the Church as somehow a more dangerous place for vulnerable children are overlooking many established risk factors that say otherwise. Specifically, it\u2019s well-known that children are at <\/span>greater risk of sexual abuse<\/span><\/a>:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n