{"id":10953,"date":"2022-04-13T14:17:41","date_gmt":"2022-04-13T20:17:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/?p=10953"},"modified":"2022-04-17T09:54:02","modified_gmt":"2022-04-17T15:54:02","slug":"trauma-healing-as-a-sacred-gospel-practice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/trauma-healing-as-a-sacred-gospel-practice\/","title":{"rendered":"Trauma Healing as a Sacred Gospel Practice"},"content":{"rendered":"
Photo by Haitham on Unsplash<\/div>\n

One of us recently began working to support a mother of three, who\u2014with her precious children\u2014has been terrorized by years of heartbreaking cruelty at the hands of the very person whose primary job was to make sure that she and her children were protected and cherished. And the second author grew up subject to regular verbal and sexual abuses\u2014at the hands of multiple perpetrators\u2014starting at a young age and continuing into her teens.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We were both moved by <\/span>Elder Patrick Kearon\u2019s crystal-clear words<\/span><\/a> at the recent General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ regarding how God sees such abuse\u2014and what he feels for its victims. As he said earnestly, \u201cYou are not defined by these terrible things that have been done to you. You are, in glorious truth, defined by your eternally existing identity as a son or daughter of God and by your Creator\u2019s perfect, infinite love and invitation to whole and complete healing.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I, Diana, experienced Elder Kearon\u2019s words as direct answers to the pleading prayer I recorded in my journal prior to General Conference: \u201cHeavenly Father, How do those sinned against learn to feel again, to trust again, to have corrupted experiences of sacred things be healed \u2026? In what ways can I better understand and use my agency so that the effects of others\u2019 sins no longer plague me?\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Elder Kearon added that the Lord Himself \u201chas suffered the very torment you are suffering and endured the very agony you are enduring\u201d so as to \u201cgive you power to not only <\/span>survive<\/span><\/i> but one day, through Him, to overcome and even <\/span>conquer<\/span><\/i>\u2014to completely rise above the pain, the misery, the anguish, and see them replaced by peace.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As beautiful as that possibility is, it\u2019s exceedingly hard to imagine for some. How exactly does something like this come to pass for someone who has passed through something awful? What does it really look like in the real-life messy experiences of day-to-day healing for <\/span>beauty to arise from ashes?<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

These answers are not so clear to many people.\u00a0 By comparison, whenever there are instances of significant harm that we have caused ourselves (by betraying God\u2019s ways through sin), thankfully believers in Jesus know exactly what to do\u2014with examples of repentance clearly and repeatedly delineated in scripture. Repentance is a dependable process that believers know they can trust\u2014 with specific steps we can encourage each other to follow and aspire after together.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But when it comes to instances of harm we receive <\/span>from other people<\/span><\/i>\u2014being \u201csinned against\u201d\u2014<\/span> there often exists far less clarity on <\/span>how <\/span><\/i>and <\/span>what<\/span><\/i> we can do to facilitate healing. Years ago, <\/span>Bruce and Marie Hafen wrote<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>\u201cWe cannot repent when we have not transgressed. Is there some process analogous to repentance in such cases?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Although there is rarely detail about how people worked through difficult situations, the scriptures contain a remarkable number of illustrations where individuals pass through intense trauma\u2014from times of hard imprisonment (Joseph of old, the Apostle Paul, Joseph Smith), to severe beatings and scourging (Alma and Amulek), to periods of starvation and great loss (Job) to brutal war-time conflicts (Captain Moroni, sons of Helaman). We also witness the anguish of families bubbling over with violence and threats of violence. As <\/span>Lehi tells Jacob<\/span><\/a>, \u201cin thy childhood thou hast suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethren.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And then we read of the pain involved in witnessing the acute suffering of others\u2014from parents sorrowing over the murder and brutality of children (Adam and Eve, Jacob and Leah, Lehi and Sariah), to those witnessing war and other mass casualty events (Amulek, Alma, anti-Nephi Lehi survivors, Noah\u2019s family on the ark). <\/span>After witnessing in a vision<\/span><\/a> how the \u201cfloods came and swallowed them up,\u201d the prophet Enoch \u201chad bitterness of soul, and wept over his brethren, and said unto the Heavens, I will refuse to be comforted.\u201d

Our conversation about what to do when sinned against is far less developed than what to do with our own sin.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/div><\/span>Despite many such examples in scripture, our conversation about what to do when sinned against is far less developed than what to do with our own sin.\u00a0 Aside from occasional helpful conversations about forgiveness, there hasn\u2019t seemed to be any comprehensive practice like \u201crepentance\u201d to guide us\u2014at least none as clearly understood and defined. Given the mounting incidences of abuse\u2014and the refuge many survivors seek in true religion today, getting clearer on what a comparable practice might look like could benefit us all.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust forgive and move on.\u201d <\/b>Our usual response to such a question is to say\u2014yes, that analogous practice is called \u201cforgiveness.\u201d\u00a0 We say this for good reason\u2014because forgiveness is, at some point, a critical part of any true healing process from serious trauma. But we make a significant and potentially costly mistake when we assume that is the whole of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was sitting in a Sunday School discussion recently about the trauma inflicted on Joseph of old, when a member of the class said, “If it happened long ago, forget it and get over it!” Then another chimed in: “We should forgive immediately!”\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I wish it were that simple; maybe it is for some, but that hasn\u2019t been my experience. Often, those who make such comments do not realize that such quick forgiveness simply is not possible for many who have experienced severe abuse(s)<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>and to insist that it IS possible often adds an extra burden on those doing all that they know how to do to faithfully navigate their healing journeys.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

For example, after a funeral several years ago, a loved one overheard me say that the deceased\u2019s death had brought up several painful and confusing memories; this person interrupted me saying, \u201cYou\u2019re still bothered by that! Why don\u2019t you use the atonement, like me!\u201d I was shocked and thought, \u201cYou have no idea how often I have fasted, how often I have prayed, how diligently I\u2019ve worked, year after year, seeking help and healing from the Savior so that I can not only \u2018get over it\u2019 but gain wisdom to help others find help and healing in the Savior too.\u201d\u00a0 But I didn\u2019t say anything. This family member simply didn\u2019t know how intimately and patiently the Lord tutors and walks with those who endure longer healing journeys.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

What Diana just related is one significant part of this healing practice people miss\u2014the remarkable patience often required of afflicted victims, who receive precious insights and relief line upon line. Even so, some may wonder, \u201c<\/span>What\u2019s the point in paying attention to these past hurts if you can\u2019t go back in time and change anything? Wouldn\u2019t you be better off just forgetting about it?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The reality is this:\u00a0 If this kind of deep pain is ignored or avoided, it doesn\u2019t usually just go away on its own. More often than not, it still bothers us\u2014still weighing us down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Long-term rippling effects<\/b>. That comes through loud and clear in long-term research. For instance, compared to those without early childhood traumas, a landmark 2001 study by Dr. Vincent Felliti found that those with at least four traumatic experiences early on in their home have a 700% increase in alcoholism and a doubling of the risk of being diagnosed with cancer. And those who had <\/span>six <\/span><\/i>traumatic events as a child are 4,600% more likely to abuse drugs, and approximately 4,000% more likely to die by\u00a0suicide\u2014with rates of serious mental illness also showing a direct relationship to early trauma.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Think of it:\u00a0 when a study comes out claiming that something we eat raises the risk of serious illness by even 40%, there\u2019s a public outcry.\u00a0How about <\/span>4,000%<\/span><\/i>?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It couldn\u2019t be more painfully clear how much early trauma sets people up for later problems\u2014 <\/span>especially<\/span> (and this part is critical) <\/span>if nothing interrupts the normal course of someone\u2019s life trajectory to encourage more healing<\/i><\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite this all, it\u2019s surprising how little we ask people facing physical or mental conditions, \u201cWhat\u2019s been happening in your life? Is there any other reason you might be in so much pain right now? Is there any way you\u2019ve been hurt now or in the past\u2014that we can help you with?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thankfully, that\u2019s been changing.\u00a0 As Dr. Toby Watson put it, \u201cWe’re starting to come back to recognizing that when people suffer, it\u2019s a sign that something is not right in their environment \u2026 there\u2019s been some sort of injury to their humanity.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>Eleanor Longden<\/span><\/a>, who experienced healing from severe trauma and serious mental illness in her life, suggests that rather than fixating on \u201cwhat’s wrong with you?\u201d we ought to more frequently ask, \u201c<\/span>what\u2019s happened to you<\/span><\/i>?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At 6 years old, we were moving to a new state. Standing on the curb next to my mom, just moments before we were about to leave, I pointed down the street and said in the angriest voice I could muster, \u201cI don\u2019t like that boy. He\u2019s mean!\u201d Rather than ask, \u201cWhy do you think he\u2019s mean? What Happened?\u201d I was scolded, \u201cDiana, we don\u2019t say naughty things about people we don\u2019t know! I don\u2019t ever want to hear you saying anything naughty about that boy again.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I retreated inward; I didn\u2019t say another word about that boy to anyone until a post-partum depression many years later dredged up a fragmented memory of what he did to me. But it was still too much<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>and my emotional weight deepened to the point that I thought of ending my life. That shocked me; I didn\u2019t want to die\u2014I just wanted to feel better! I reached out to someone for help, and thus began my healing journey.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Note:\u00a0 In an increasingly fragile society where everything from upsetting jokes to hurt feelings in university classes<\/span><\/i> is labeled \u201ctraumatic,\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/a> it\u2019s important to clarify that we\u2019re talking about something more here. As Dr. Van der Kolk clarifies, true trauma is something that<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>by definition<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>exceeds and overwhelms normal capacities to cope and endure. <\/span><\/i>As he puts it<\/span><\/i><\/a>, \u201c<\/span><\/i>Trauma starts with the feeling of \u2018Oh my god, my life is over\u2019<\/span><\/i>\u2026 it\u2019s a situation characterized by the inability to take the actions necessary to protect yourself. Trauma is about being in a state where you feel that nothing you do can stop what\u2019s happening to you.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

In what follows, we highlight four foundational elements of healing from trauma that are often overlooked in our own discussions as people of faith. Compared to some of the more advanced healing supports offered by trauma-oriented specialists, those below are aspects of healing in which normal brothers and sisters, neighbors, and friends can play an important and profound helping role\u2014comforting, listening, and loving afflicted souls, as they walk with them day-to-day to re-learn how to experience new lives of sweetness.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Calming hyperarousal and awakening sensation.<\/b> The world\u2019s foremost expert on trauma, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk makes clear in his seminal work, \u201c<\/span>The Body Keeps the Score<\/span><\/a>\u201d how important <\/span>and <\/span><\/i>how difficult it is for someone to bring what actually took place into more complete awareness. As Diana can attest, remembering something painful that has happened\u2014 seeing it clearly\u2014is not as easy as it looks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But why? It\u2019s not just because the emotions are difficult to bear. It\u2019s because overwhelming experiences like sexual, emotional, and physical abuse often exceed our physiological and psychological capacities in a way that <\/span>changes our bodies<\/span><\/i>. As Dr. Van der Kolk puts it, \u201cAfter trauma, the world is experienced with a different nervous system.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Starting in the moment of trauma itself, a fundamental reorganization of the central nervous system is often initiated, leaving the body <\/span>primed<\/span><\/i> to experience the world around someone as continuously threatening\u2014 and making the person experience everything else on high alert.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The opposite can also happen, with the body shutting down brain areas that transmit terrifying sensations\u2014resulting in extreme disconnection from the body, and a feeling of being emotionally deadened. As long as people are shut down or hyper-aroused, it becomes much more challenging to access a deeper awareness of their lives. That\u2019s why Dr. Van der Kolk says, \u201cThe first order of business is to find ways to cope with feeling overwhelmed by the sensations and emotions associated with the past\u201d\u2014or as he puts it, \u201cfeeling free to know what you know and feel what you feel without becoming overwhelmed, enraged, ashamed, or collapsed.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s something we can help with! The reality is this: until someone is able to acknowledge what has happened, it will be difficult to move forward and do anything about it. As Elvin Semrad used to teach, \u201cpeople can never get better without knowing what they know and feeling what they feel.\u201d\u00a0Arriving at that point is necessarily a patient process\u2014gradually, slowly starting to tolerate feelings bit by bit, without being overwhelmed by them.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was not aware that I had been experiencing life on high alert most of my life and frequently disassociating from it until after I began getting help to address that trauma more directly in my late 50s. I started to then realize why my memories\u2014good as well as traumatic\u2014are ordered haphazardly in fragments in my brain. Until my mind quieted and sufficiently opened through a variety of supports, I wasn\u2019t functioning well enough to recognize that my prayers were being answered and that the Lord <\/span><\/i>has<\/span><\/i> been in <\/span><\/i>every<\/span><\/i> detail of my healing journey.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

The cultivation of mindfulness and deeper peace can help decrease the activity of the brain\u2019s threat monitor and tamp down reactivity to potential triggers\u2014while fostering a powerful capacity to calmly and quietly observe the full scope of one\u2019s experiences. By learning to breathe calmly and remaining in a state of relative physical relaxation, even while accessing painful and horrifying memories, healing can be catalyzed. And happily, if someone can feel emotions and endure them without getting overwhelmed \u2026 they\u2019re at a hopeful turning point.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. The work of remembering and seeing clearly. <\/b>Equally consequential to how traumatized people experience the present world around them is the ongoing way they experience the past. Normally, the brain processes all the incoming sensations\u2014blending them into an integrated, coherent experience of \u201cthis is what is happening to me.\u201d\u00a0 When things are working properly, sensations, thoughts, and emotions are stored in a meaningful way, like putting away groceries\u2014with a place for each item to go.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how most people remember things in the past. But that <\/span>doesn\u2019t happen<\/span><\/i> after serious trauma\u2014with all the various sights, sounds, smells, and touching encoded in the brain as isolated, separate fragments. It\u2019s all just too much to manage, so the <\/span>traumatic event often gets stored more haphazardly<\/span>\u2014<\/span>without proper processing. As Dr. Van der Kolk puts it, \u201cInstead of neatly putting away canned goods with other canned goods, frozen things in the freezer, etc., your overwhelmed brain can\u2019t process the memory in an organized way, [and so instead] scoops the whole thing up and crams it in a cabinet, slams the door shut to deal with it all later, and everything inside is just waiting to fall on your head the next time you open that door.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The breakdown of this normal process in the brain helps explain why trauma is remembered so differently than normal stories, which usually include a beginning, a middle, and an end that allow us to relate to our experience as something that <\/span>happened in the past<\/span><\/i>. Once again, that simply doesn\u2019t happen with serious trauma, with fragments of the overwhelming experience taking on a life of their own as they intrude in terrifying ways into someone\u2019s present day-to-day experiences\u2014often leaving people feeling helpless in the face of the seeming unending trauma.

As people allow themselves to bring to fuller awareness what happened bit by bit, they can begin to experience whatever happened as an event in the past.\u00a0<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote><\/div><\/span>This kind of flooding of thoughts and emotions is uniquely terrifying precisely because they are not experienced <\/i>as a memory of a story that happened in the past, but rather, as if the trauma was actually occurring in <\/i>real-time in the present.<\/p>\n

These kinds of sudden memories can be terrifying and paralyzing. At first, all I had were snapshot memories of traumas\u2014images of just before and after abuses but not the middle. When a snapshot would come to mind, I could see and feel that something was wrong, but any memory of what actually took place was hazy or lacking altogether.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

About a year after that first postpartum depression, other snapshot memories were brought to mind during additional episodes of depression. Yet most of the professional support I received focused almost entirely on the symptoms of depression. If I mentioned abuse, it was only briefly<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>deflecting the conversation to any drama that had occurred since my last visit and not to what was eating at me because I didn\u2019t have the courage to bring it up.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

All of this helps explain why remembering, seeing, and bringing to awareness painful happenings of the past can take time\u2014even lots of time. Along the way, painful snatches of memory and emotion may come back and intrude upon life. But the full scope of what happened often remains difficult to grasp\u2014especially when events took place in childhood when the brain was still developing and young eyes often assume trauma they experience at home is \u201cnormal.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In many cases, the events are so overwhelming and horrific that people push them far away out of mind\u2014initially just to survive it. That\u2019s why remembering can take so much trust and courage \u2014and why an early step of healing involves working through any barriers to seeing clearly what happened\u2014including confronting lies or distortions people have accepted about what happened.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ironically, it\u2019s this very work of remembering the past that is often most forgotten in our discussions of healing, as we neglect to appreciate how challenging bringing some of this to mind can be for those who have experienced deeply painful abuse. Yet on some level, this should all be somewhat familiar to any believer.\u00a0 When someone falls into a pattern of their own self-betrayal and sin, it\u2019s well-understood that an important part of escaping its effects through repentance is coming to <\/span>see clearly <\/span><\/i>what actually happened \u2026 which doesn\u2019t always happen quickly. That\u2019s because we recognize that sin can distort and shape cognition and perceptions of any of us to the point that we do not see \u201c<\/span>things as they really are<\/span><\/a>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So, in other words, prior to other crucial elements of repentance\u2014and foundational to it\u2014is a process of seeing clearly one\u2019s betrayal, <\/span>and <\/span><\/i>feeling clearly in relation to it, as reflected in proper feelings of remorse.\u00a0 In like manner, for victims of abuse there is a crucial and often lengthy process of coming to see and feel clearly\u2014<\/span>also<\/span><\/i> prior <\/span><\/i>to being able to take other healing steps, such as learning of Christ and <\/span>how<\/span><\/i> to come unto Him so that the Lord <\/span>can<\/span><\/i> prevail<\/span><\/a> even in sinned against lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Finding the words. <\/b>Alongside the work of acknowledging what has taken place leading up to this moment, naming and identifying what is going on inside with words is another powerful way to catalyze healing\u2014finding ways to put language to the experience.<\/p>\n

After a long period of isolating blindness, Helen Keller spoke of being \u201cborn into language\u201d\u2014 describing how words helped her wake up and experience life around her fresh. Naming our experiences offers the possibility of another kind of control. But this can be remarkably hard for anyone who has gone through severe trauma\u2014with finding the language to describe your inner reality a frequently agonizing process. Even small progress in that direction can be huge, like a moment someone finally lets themselves express what it was like as a little boy to never see his father again, or to write for the first time about how painfully wrong it was to be used and abused as a little girl.<\/span><\/p>\n

Especially at first, writing something can be easier than sharing in person. Research has shown that writing about upsetting events improves physical and mental health generally\u2014and with trauma specifically. (Even more than writing details of what happened, what\u2019s most helpful is writing thoughts and feelings <\/span>about<\/span><\/i> the event). One person said that this kind of writing \u201chelped me think about what I felt during those times. I never realized how it affected me \u2026.\u201d\u00a0 Another person said, \u201cwriting about emotions and feelings helped me understand how I felt and why.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Among other things, writing can also gradually <\/span>help reveal<\/span><\/i> what actually happened\u2014putting the remembering and observing down on paper and establishing the emerging truth about what actually took place. As Dr. Van der Kolk says, \u201cThe path out of trauma is paved with words, carefully assembled, piece by piece, until the whole story can be revealed.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Through the years, writing is how I\u2019ve sorted through jumbled emotions.\u00a0 Strong emotions came out in poetry and short stories about my past<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>and I was often surprised by the hurt that flowed from my pen. When I started freewriting about trauma memories a couple of years ago (writing everything I knew or felt had happened with as much detail as possible), that began helping me leave some of them in the past as a regular fading memory.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I also began keeping a gratitude journal, which has helped me look for and remember the good in my life<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>and I\u2019ve been writing some prayers down too. These sacred writings remind me of all the ways the Lord has blessed and is continuing to bless me. I still have trauma memories and responses triggered now and then, but I\u2019m getting better at recognizing good things even on difficult days.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

As people allow themselves to bring to fuller awareness what happened bit by bit, they can begin to experience whatever happened as an <\/span>event in the past.\u00a0 <\/span><\/i>And they can also consider sharing this with others\u2014if they feel safe enough to communicate what is going on with someone they trust, \u201cfinding words where words were absent before.\u201d

It\u2019s striking how many of the foundational elements of trauma healing can be found anywhere that a healing community exists.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/div><\/span>Why can sharing with someone else matter so much? On a foundational level, feeling listened to and understood often helps soften the physiological fight-or-flight (or freeze and appease), while reestablishing the feeling that you are part of a community. As Dr. Van der Kolk has said, \u201cCommunicating fully is the opposite of being traumatized.\u201d\u00a0 Just being able to tell the story has huge value\u2014 \u201cwithout stories,\u201d he adds, \u201cmemory becomes frozen; and without memory, you cannot imagine how things can be different.\u201d<\/p>\n

The value of sharing is enhanced even more when it\u2019s clear you have been heard deeply and meaningfully.\u00a0We all know how it feels to be met by silence and incomprehension. One reason so many veterans of war end up being so quiet about their experiences in battle is they discovered so few were able to stomach hearing the truth of their war-time experiences.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Compared to an experience of being heard, which gently helps the body move away from the hyper-vigilance to a sense of safety, being dismissed or ignored reinforces all the destabilizing patterns inside.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, no\u2014talking about a painful event isn\u2019t always helpful\u2014quite the contrary. But with someone who is attentive and tender, this kind of sharing can be remarkably healing.\u00a0Once again, we find an analog in the well-established practice of repentance\u2014given the centrality of open vulnerability through confession, in the presence of someone we trust to hear what\u2019s actually been going on for us.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Having new experiences that are sweet, edifying, and connecting<\/strong>. Alongside all this healing that can be encouraged through remembering, writing, and verbalizing hurtful things that have happened in our past, another powerful element of this healing practice bypasses all this mental processing to more directly involve the injured body itself. In addition to rich listening, it can also be hugely helpful for healing to simply have <\/span>new experiences <\/span><\/i>that are sweet, intimate, and joyful\u2014the very opposite of trauma itself. As Dr. Van der Kolk underscores, by \u201callowing the body to have experiences that deeply and viscerally contradict the helplessness, rage or collapse that result from trauma,\u201d healing can be catalyzed more and more.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a wounded child, I didn\u2019t know how to trust, so I experienced great difficulty making and keeping friends<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>with struggles in connecting continuing as an adult. One day after a friendship ended, I remember tearfully petitioning the Lord, \u201cplease! I can\u2019t do it; please raise up friends for me!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

When I stopped trying so hard to make friends, this prayer was answered. The Lord began leading me to friends that enjoy my company, that willingly support me in my healing journey\u2014not because I\u2019m some sort of project or because they feel sorry for me\u2014 but friends that truly care; friends that encourage and support as I seek the Lord for comfort and healing. These deep friendships with \u201cZion brothers and sisters\u201d now bring meaning and purpose to my life, and continue to help restore my ability to trust.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

For those who have endured especially difficult abuse or trauma in the past, their brains can be trained to be alert for emergencies at the expense of being focused on the small details of everyday life. As a result, it can be a practice itself to re-engage with the everyday, even mundane details of life fully\u2014and become able to feel alive in a \u201cnormal\u201d life far removed from the past traumas.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

More than just learning to respond appropriately to danger, this is about recovering the capacity to experience safety, relaxation, and healthy human connection. Far beyond just emotional work, this kind of learning to live fully, securely, and joyfully in the present is about bringing back \u201conline\u201d those brain structures that people are used to having desert them when memories of trauma overwhelm them again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And once more, this is something that non-experts surrounding someone in pain can help with! \u00a0 More than simply dealing with the past, this is about enhancing the quality of day-to-day experience\u2014and figuring out how to feel fully alive again, arguably <\/span>the specialty <\/span><\/i>of Jesus Christ and His followers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Appreciating this rich practice.<\/b> On this journey of deep healing, there are clearly other important elements to appreciate, especially the precious gift of forgiveness<\/a> that we are commanded to offer to “all”<\/a>, and to which we rightfully give so much attention. There are also other miraculous techniques and supports being developed to help support those grappling to take the next step, from EMDR to somatic-oriented therapies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s where most of our attention goes in discussing healing\u2014the value of forgiveness and expert support.\u00a0 And that\u2019s why we\u2019ve focused above on the richness of other foundational elements of healing that involve normal relationships around us, including the remembering, seeing, and confiding what actually happened to trusted loved ones\u2014and the finding again together what sweetness in life can mean.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Given the growing waitlists for qualified professionals and the likelihood that the expert class will never be able to meet the scope of the metastasizing societal problem of abuse and violence, it\u2019s encouraging to recognize how much we can do in our own communities and families. Competent therapists can do miracles, no doubt.\u00a0 But instead of simply waiting on the right professional to deliver healing, we\u2019re heartened by the many steps people can begin taking with their own loved ones. It\u2019s striking how many of the foundational elements of trauma healing can be found anywhere that a healing community exists. As you can see, potentially any neighbor, friend, family member or brother and sister of faith can offer tender support and patient listening\u2014hopefully, especially among those who follow Jesus Christ.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Although there is never a great deal of detail, we see echoes of this throughout scripture and sacred history. After the trauma of seeing family and friends burned, <\/span>Alma<\/span><\/a> \u201c<\/span>took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord.\u201d The people in Quincy similarly received the Saints driven from their homes in Missouri, sharing kindness, shelter, food, and jobs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Out of their own excruciating agony, we also see in scripture encouragement about where to fix our attention in the healing process. After Enoch experiences overwhelming sorrow in witnessing a vision of Noah\u2019s flood, <\/span>he was immediately told<\/span><\/a>, \u201cLift up your heart, and be glad; and look\u201d\u2014leading this prophet to see \u201c<\/span>the day of the coming of the Son of Man, even in the flesh; and his soul rejoiced, saying: \u201cThe Righteous is lifted up, and the Lamb is slain from the foundation of the world.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Lehi likewise tells Jacob<\/span><\/a>, \u201cthou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And, of course, scripture is full of promises to those grieving, hopeless, and lost\u2014<\/span>thanks to a God who<\/span><\/a> \u201cbind[s] up (heals\/comforts) the brokenhearted\u201d and who \u201cproclaim[s] liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.\u201d This is the God who \u201c<\/span>comforts all who mourn<\/span><\/a>\u201d and who, remarkably enough, delivers \u201c<\/span>beauty for ashes<\/span><\/a>.\u201d As <\/span>the Psalmist exults<\/span><\/a>, \u201cThe LORD is [near or] close to the brokenhearted and saves [or rescues] those who are crushed in spirit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Against the backdrop of<\/span> these sacred precedents, we would love to see a day when the practice of healing from trauma is as widely appreciated, understood, and leveraged in the body of Christ\u2019s believers as is the beautiful practice of repentance. In the future, Diana will share in greater depth what this process has looked like for her from the inside out.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We end where we began, by joining Elder Kearon to underscore the most important point of all:\u00a0 how very possible this healing is for those whose hearts dearly need and want it.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The joyful hope in full healing. <\/b>Despite the fact that many today wonder whether anyone can fully recover from the severity of some wounds or whether they are \u201cjust too deep and too irreparable to heal,\u201d inspired voices have spoken clearly. Elder Richard G. Scott spoke repeatedly during his life\u2019s ministry about the profound relevance of the atonement for all who have been wounded in any way. And Bruce and Marie Hafen elaborated on this in great depth in their writings, underscoring how the atonement of Jesus Christ isn’t just for sinners\u2014but for those sinned against.\u00a0They write, \u201cThe Lord’s grace is a powerful and active force not only in our relationship with Him, but also in our relationships with other people\u201d\u2014attesting that He can \u201cheal any pain and bridge any gap that separates us from God.\u201d The Hafens quote one woman who had found healing from past abuse, saying, \u201cI found\u00a0I did not have this power fully in myself to reshape and heal my mind, but Christ did.”<\/span><\/p>\n

As impossible as it may feel and seem, <\/span>Elder Patrick Kearon likewise witnessed<\/span><\/a> this spring that \u201chealing\u00a0<\/span>can<\/span><\/i>\u00a0come through the miracle of the redemptive might of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” He continued:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Please know that the Savior has descended below\u00a0<\/span>all<\/span><\/i>\u00a0things, even what has happened to you. Because of that, He knows exactly what real terror and shame feel like and how it feels to be abandoned and broken.\u00a0From the depths of His atoning suffering, the Savior imparts hope you thought was lost forever, strength you believed you could never possess, and healing you couldn\u2019t imagine was possible.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A final word from Diana:<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a moving story that feels like my life in the Book of Mormon, <\/span><\/i>where Limhi\u2019s people tried<\/span><\/i><\/a> to free themselves from Lamanite bondage multiple times unsuccessfully. They finally found their precious escape and freedom after turning to the Lord for deliverance and covenanting with him.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

That story is my story. In the past, I didn\u2019t know how many of these scriptural passages applied to me<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>and so they caused me distress.\u00a0 With the help of the Lord and rescuing brothers and sisters he has sent into my life, I am learning to \u201c<\/span><\/i>trust in the Lord with all [my] heart<\/span><\/i><\/a>.\u201d In doing so, I\u2019ve been able to see how I had been leaning \u201cunto my own understanding.\u201d Briefly praying, but not having a still enough heart and mind to feel or hear the answer, I\u2019d turn instead to searching online reviews to find the perfect professional that would finally help me overcome my mental health issues. After the last one failed to deliver, I cried out in frustration, \u201cI\u2019m done. I don\u2019t know what else to do. I guess I\u2019ll just have to be satisfied with the way I am.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But that didn\u2019t feel right. And I continued to entreat Father<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>and to spend more time waiting on Him in stillness. As I have learned to seek help from God with all my heart, I have learned for myself how He can truly \u201c<\/span><\/i>direct [my] paths<\/span><\/i><\/a>.\u201d Within days, the Lord began revealing the rescuers He had prepared all along to help me more fully come unto Christ for help and healing. With the Lord now directing my healing paths, I have progressed far more in the past three years than I had in the previous 30 years combined. Truly, the Lord is able to do his work in all of us. I witness that God\u2019s work and glory are not only to heal me but to also purify with Living Water my life and the roots and branches of my tree of life.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I have been a sacred witness to Diana\u2019s healing journey\u2014along with others\u2014and there\u2019s almost nothing that\u2019s been more beautiful. For the many who labor under aching burdens and agony due to another\u2019s cruelty, we together hope and pray that this message of God\u2019s healing can go to all the nations of the earth <\/span>as part of our witness to the world<\/span><\/i>\u2014not as a mere adjunct and adjacent to the gospel, but at its core.<\/span><\/p>\n

Special thanks to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, from whose work much of the foregoing was drawn. We highly recommend his text, \u201c<\/span><\/i>The Body Keeps the Score<\/span><\/i><\/a>.\u201d\u00a0 Some of this material is also excerpted from the Healing from Trauma Journey, found in the Impact Suite apps for personal growth (<\/span><\/i>Climb<\/span><\/i><\/a>), depression\/anxiety recovery (<\/span><\/i>Lift<\/span><\/i><\/a>), chemical dependency (<\/span><\/i>Turn<\/span><\/i><\/a>), and pornography addiction (<\/span><\/i>Fortify<\/span><\/i><\/a>). To go deeper into the broader picture of trauma healing, check out the two-week journey on fundamentals to trauma healing within each app<\/span><\/i>\u2014<\/span>or <\/span><\/i>check out the full transcript of the videos here<\/span><\/i><\/a>. You may reach Diana at dianagourley@yahoo.com.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Believers in Jesus know exactly what to do when we\u2019ve been hurt by our own (sinful) actions\u2014 thanks to the practice of repentance. But when we are hurt by someone else\u2019s actions, the pathway forward is far less clear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":10968,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[475],"tags":[968,195,967],"coauthors":[222,966],"class_list":["post-10953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gospel-fare","tag-healing","tag-jesus-christ","tag-trauma"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTrauma Healing as a Sacred Gospel Practice - Public Square Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Believers in Jesus know exactly what to do when we\u2019ve been hurt by our own (sinful) actions\u2014 thanks to the practice of repentance.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/trauma-healing-as-a-sacred-gospel-practice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trauma Healing as a Sacred Gospel Practice - Public Square Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Believers in Jesus know exactly what to do when we\u2019ve been hurt by our own (sinful) actions\u2014 thanks to the practice of repentance.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/faith\/gospel-fare\/trauma-healing-as-a-sacred-gospel-practice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Public Square Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-04-13T20:17:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-17T15:54:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/publicsquaremag.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/haitham-PY2lJbqsJzU-unsplash-2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jacob Z. 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